too much change

veggie orzo

Our weekend was crazy (but in the best way possible).  We hung out with friends, had Gerrit’s brother and sister-in-law stay with us, helped Gerrit’s parents move, went to the birthday party of our friends’ kid, and worked on painting the room we are converting into a playroom.  And on Saturday afternoon, while Gerrit was helping his parents load trucks of furniture and boxes, Evelyn and I went to an Auburn Club lunch with my parents.

I had been a little ambivalent about going to lunch (there was so much other stuff going on that day), but then I found out Aubie was going to be there (who, for those of you who don’t know, is only the best college mascot ever) and my decision was made because I wanted Evelyn to have her first picture with Aubie and it would be ADORABLE.  But by the time I got Evelyn up from her nap and fed her some lunch (because that would be so much easier than trying to feed her there) and got her changed, we were running a little later than I would have liked, and then I couldn’t figure out where exactly the lunch was being held, and by the time I pulled up my dad came out to greet us and said “You just missed Aubie.”
I almost starting crying on the spot, but held it together and had a nice time at the rest of the lunch.  When I got home though, I did cry about it, as illogical and irrational as it seemed, until I figured out why.
The truth is that there is too much change going in our lives right now.  Gerrit has started a new job recently.  Our house been in a bit of chaos recently as we move furniture around to different rooms and have a room in the midst of being painted.  Gerrit’s parents have sold his childhood home and are moving to a new house.  And more drastic for me: my working situation is about to change significantly, and Evelyn is about to turn 1 year old.
And apparently I am not handling this as well as I thought I was.  I think I cried because in two weeks my baby girl will be a year old, and Saturday was my one chance to get a picture of her with Aubie while she is still a baby.  (And, as Gerrit said, I was pre-treasuring the cuteness of it.)
All of these changes are so good.  Gerrit loves his new job.  I am so excited about having a playroom.  Gerrit’s parents are so excited about their new house.  My workload needs to change.  And I am SO looking forward to Evelyn being a growing toddler who is exploring and learning.
But change, even when it’s all good, can be overwhelming when it comes in big batches.
I didn’t expect to relate these thoughts to food at all, but I had a moment while I was chopping and sauteeing carrots the peppers at 7:30 a.m. on Sunday morning (making a big batch of lunch for Evelyn before I went to help Gerrit’s parents clean their old house).  Because for a just moment, cooking felt like the one thing that wasn’t changing.  I’ve felt like my adrenaline has been pumping at a constant rate for the past couple of weeks as all of this change swirls around me.  But on Sunday morning it felt good to know that when I come back to the stove, the carrots are still going to cook the same way when I put them in the pan, and the lemon juice is still going to sizzle with the same tangy aroma.  And it is all going to be okay, actually even better, once things settle down.

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